Banana cake for breakfast!

A friend who works in a supermarket in the Midlands posted on facebook today about a woman who, at five minutes to closing time last night, ran through the doors in her nightie, dressing-gown and slippers, to grab some alcohol off the shelf. She must have been really desperate. It was funny the way he wrote it but, unfortunately and not surprisingly, addiction seems to be a bit of a problem with many people at the moment. Another friend has started smoking again after a break of several years, someone else I know has regained all the weight she so painstakingly lost last year and, up and down our road, the recycling bins are overflowing with beer cans, wine bottles, takeaway cartons and Easter egg wrappers.

Several shoppers were picking over the remaining Easter eggs on the shelves in Waitrose today. I resisted, but only because I have already panic-hoarded a stash of chocolate, so I’m all set up for, ooh, I don’t know – another couple of hours, maybe. That has brought back a memory of how, late one evening many years ago, I suddenly had a desperate urge for some After Eight mints, and my ex very kindly trotted off down the road to the nearest off-licence to fetch me some. (Back then, in the last century, that was the only place still open late at night that sold chocolate.) I say it was kind of him – it was – but I expect the unspoken promise of a bit of peace and quiet while I gobbled the entire lot in one sitting probably had something to do with it.

Moving on from addictions, what else are we all craving at the moment? I don’t mean life getting back to normal – we all want that – but from a culinary perspective. Curiously, both the OH and myself are craving tomatoes and oily fish. Both quite healthy, thank goodness. It used to be that the tomatoes in the fridge would go off before we finished them, but now we are getting through loads; almost eating them like sweets, in some cases.

Watching MasterChef probably hasn’t helped our cravings. We’ve been groaning with longing at the sight of some of the amazing concoctions there over the past few weeks and, in our view, the best chef lifted the trophy last night.

We had a lovely surprise from our neighbour: a beautiful home-made banana cake, by way of a thank-you for the bits of shopping we have been getting for them each week. We had some for our breakfast, this morning. (Doesn’t everybody eat cake for breakfast?!)

On our way to the supermarket today, we noted that people are now parking in bus stop laybys near the currently blocked-off local beauty spots. We are a defiant lot, aren’t we? Let’s hope nobody needs to catch a bus any time soon…

We also passed someone erecting a huge tent in their front garden. Perhaps to self-isolate from the rest of their household? The OH has already nobly said, if he gets the virus, he will self-isolate down the bottom of our garden in what is laughably known as “The Home Office” – because that’s what our predecessor here used it for. Garden room, in other words; or glorified shed, if you prefer. It’s especially noble of him, since it’s still full of the junk we were trying to sell before all this kicked off, and you can’t actually lie down anywhere in there. It’s a struggle to stand, even. I think he was rather looking forward to it, though.

Our shopping took much longer, today (thank God their loos are still open, is all I can say), with the queues the longest I have seen them so far. No idea why. Still no flour to be had, but just about everything else is back on the shelves. Phew. Outside one of the supermarkets, a man was being arrested by no less than six policemen in two cars, with a back-up van heading towards them as well. Seemed a little excessive to us. We assumed he had been caught shoplifting, as there were several bottles of wine at his feet and they were still searching him as we passed.

We noticed the driving seemed much more erratic out on the roads, with some near-misses involving cars shooting out of side roads right in front of us. There are a lot of very wobbly cyclists around at the moment, as well. All guaranteed to get us both in a bit of a lather. A few years ago, we made up a little road rage ditty directed at all the idiot drivers we come across, which always helps to calm us down. I can’t possibly share it with you on here, though, as it contains all the rudest swear words we could come up with at the time. Yes, even that one. Especially that one. Works a treat!

Author: Hampton Caught

The rants and ramblings of an ex Deputy Fiction Editor of Woman's Weekly magazine.

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